Tuesday, July 16, 2019
HOW TOXIC ''FRIEND'' MADE ME HAVE LOW SELF-ESTEEM
Hello, guys! I have got the idea of this post pretty spontaniously, but I thought maybe this post can help to realize someone that fake friends can be really dangerous and that better to break up with them as soon as you realized they are toxic for you.
She basically was telling how mostly everyone is so cool, but we are not. I felt like a loser. Firstly, I didn't realize it was toxic for me. She was always complaining about how everything is so bad and how other people have perfect lives. When she was talking about it, I kinda believed everything she was telling and had negative thoughts about my life. I believe in low of atraction, so negative thoughts about your life can be dangerous. Now when I stopped to keep in touch with my ex-friend, I realized I'm not the worst, I'm not a loser and if you have something to complain about just ''work hard'' to solve this problem.
On daily basis, I was hearing ''Your skin is bad, your hair is sooo bad, why you SIMPLY don't lose weight?''. During years of friendships never heard of compliments from her, except clothes sometimes, mostly she was criticizing my style cause I like black, kinda rock style in clothing.
She was telling something that I even wasn't noticing or haven't thought it was very bad and noticeable, but after she was saying to me I started to notice ''bad things'' in me more and it was making me even less confident in myself.
We always were doing what she wants. We've always been places she likes and she hated to change her habbits. It were always the same places with rude people with drinking and smocking addiction and they were talking how I'm not fun because wasn't doing what they wanted.
And she acted very weird sometimes, it was making me uncomfortable. I felt like I don't have a right to say what I want.
She was telling my dreams were stupid because they were not only about me, but about other people and also they weren't fun enough.
When somebody talk bad about something that means everything for your it hurts.
Once I said there is no like one person is the most beautiful in the world, we all are kinda the most beautiful in the world. So we all should think that we are beautiful because we all are in a different way. Then she said ''You're the most beautiful? haha''. Her laugh made feel terrible and so ugly.
When we broke up she said the quite high amount of followers on my Instagram is my only achievement in life. I don't really like to talk about Instagram in real life. Plus, recently it doesn't actually growing. But, anyways, she really liked to talk about how many followers I have. So weird. But then I realize why she was doing it. Once she asked to help her to grow her page. I said it takes years of work and patience and then she gave up after a few weeks, then she was telling how Instagram is bad and asked to delete my page...
She was criticizing basically every detail of my lifestyle. We were talking everyday and she was asking me different things about my day and what I was doing and then she was looking for something to criticize me about.
Also I realized because of her I started to be bad at talking. I can spell words wrong really often. As I become nervous when talk and start be super shy and be afraid of criticism.
She was barely interested in me when were meeting and was very interested in chatting with her other friends. I felt so lame when she was just ignoring me. I was only who talk. Also it was pretty embarassing when I was meeting someone and they saw how I was just sitting quietly around her why she was chatting with her friends.
By the way, I broke up with her because one day she started to criticize me on Instagram how she was doing it everyday for so little innocent thing and I was like ''Okaaay, enough. I'm not going to keep in touch with so negative people that ruin my mood everyday''.
I could tell so much more, but this post is pretty long, time is pretty late and I'll see you tomorrow. It will be a post about braces. Today it's a month since I'm wearing them and tomorrow in the evening I have an appointment with my orthodontist so after it I will tell about things I experienced this month and how my first monthly appointment went.