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Tuesday, July 16, 2019

HOW TOXIC ''FRIEND'' MADE ME HAVE LOW SELF-ESTEEM



Hello, guys! I have got the idea of this post pretty spontaniously, but I thought maybe this post can help to realize someone that fake friends can be really dangerous and that better to break up with them as soon as you realized they are toxic for you.

She basically was telling how mostly everyone is so cool, but we are not. I felt like a loser. Firstly, I didn't realize it was toxic for me. She was always complaining about how everything is so bad and how other people have perfect lives. When she was talking about it, I kinda believed everything she was telling and had negative thoughts about my life. I believe in low of atraction, so negative thoughts about your life can be dangerous. Now when I stopped to keep in touch with my ex-friend, I realized I'm not the worst, I'm not a loser and if you have something to complain about just ''work hard'' to solve this problem.

On daily basis, I was hearing ''Your skin is bad, your hair is sooo bad, why you SIMPLY don't lose weight?''. During years of friendships never heard of compliments from her, except clothes sometimes, mostly she was criticizing my style cause I like black, kinda rock style in clothing.
She was telling something that I even wasn't noticing or haven't thought it was very bad and noticeable, but after she was saying to me I started to notice ''bad things'' in me more and it was making me even less confident in myself.

We always were doing what she wants. We've always been places she likes and she hated to change her habbits. It were always the same places with rude people with drinking and smocking addiction and they were talking how I'm not fun because wasn't doing what they wanted. 
And she acted very weird sometimes, it was making me uncomfortable. I felt like I don't have a right to say what I want. 

She was telling my dreams were stupid because they were not only about me, but about other people and also they weren't fun enough.
When somebody talk bad about something that means everything for your it hurts.


Once I said there is no like one person is the most beautiful in the world, we all are kinda the most beautiful in the world. So we all should think that we are beautiful because we all are in a different way. Then she said ''You're the most beautiful? haha''. Her laugh made feel terrible and so ugly.


When we broke up she said the quite high amount of followers on my Instagram is my only achievement in life. I don't really like to talk about Instagram in real life. Plus, recently it doesn't actually growing. But, anyways, she really liked to talk about how many followers I have. So weird. But then I realize why she was doing it. Once she asked to help her to grow her page. I said it takes years of work and patience and then she gave up after a few weeks, then she was telling how Instagram is bad and asked to delete my page...

She was criticizing basically every detail of my lifestyle. We were talking everyday and she was asking me different things about my day and what I was doing and then she was looking for something to criticize me about. 
Also I realized because of her I started to be bad at talking. I can spell words wrong really often. As I become nervous when talk and start be super shy and be afraid of criticism.

She was barely interested in me when were meeting and was very interested in chatting with her other friends. I felt so lame when she was just ignoring me. I was only who talk. Also it was pretty embarassing when I was meeting someone and they saw how I was just sitting quietly around her why she was chatting with her friends.

By the way, I broke up with her because one day she started to criticize me on Instagram how she was doing it everyday for so little innocent thing and I was like ''Okaaay, enough. I'm not going to keep in touch with so negative people that ruin my mood everyday''.


I could tell so much more, but this post is pretty long, time is pretty late and I'll see you tomorrow. It will be a post about braces. Today it's a month since I'm wearing them and tomorrow in the evening I have an appointment with my orthodontist so after it I will tell about things I experienced this month and how my first monthly appointment went.

6 comments:

  1. Glad you're no longer friends with her - these types of people are truly toxic as you say, but unfortunately we don't sometimes realise until they've got a hold on us. Thanks for sharing and raising soem awareness of what to look out for.

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  2. Interesting topic, thanks for sharing your personal experience!
    Kisses, Paola.

    Expressyourself

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  3. Toxic friendships are so draining and it's so important to sort them out so everyone involved can be better for it!! x

    Grace Louise || www.gracelouiseofficial.blogspot.co.uk/

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  4. Wow she does sound quite toxic, the best thing you do did was break it off. Not only was she toxic but immature as well. I would like to say things change as you get older but sadly they don't. I recently more or less ended a friendship. I am no longer in my 20s and my friend who is older them me in her 40s feels like someone much younger. Her friends one who is in his 40s and the other one is in his 60s their a couple still like to go out and drink ( a fair amount) I don't drink as I have chronic migraines.

    I did not go to their two birthday parties as one time I was getting over a sinuses infection and the second time I had a mild migraine. In both cases I probably could have pushed through and gone but also it was dinner at 8 pm (both times) and then drinks after. I don't drink and I don't live in the city. Both places were walking distance of their apartment, but for me it is an hour and a half commute and would cost about $27 including cab fare and taxi as I would not be able to walk home from the train as it 1 or 2 in the morning and too dangerous. I was laid off and my UE ran out so I am on a very limited income. Also they like to go to pubs/sports bars, drink a lot and they talk about the past: events from the past, people from the past that they know as they have all known each other for two decades. And I was not there for any of it so don't have much to say...

    And again these are HER friends who I just met the month before and hung out with twice for about 3 hours each time so I have known them for about 6 hours. But their texts including hers were very pressured. They acted like I was indebted and that we had been friends for decades. Adults say "Hey I am having a get together if you can make it, would love to have you it you can make it and if you can't no problem see you another time"

    Not them. They all got their noses out of joint. I invited my friend to the beach and I have known her about 8 years and I invited them as well and she just ghosted me. This person is in her late 40s. So sadly in the west it seems in some cases people never grow up.

    Allie of
    www.allienyc.com

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  5. I'm glad you broke up with your "friend", youd should never be friend with someone who makes you feel bad about yourself and about your life.

    www.ninakobi.com

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  6. She sounds like an extremely toxic person, you did a right thing by breaking off this friendship!

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